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| Family ~ Where Life Begins and Love Never Ends |
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Do you still remember what made you decide that it is time for you to tie the knot with your partner?
Was it that unforgettable proposal that he had literally swept you off ground?
Was it because age is catching up and anyway you have been together for so so long...and so it is time to?
Whatever the factor was, it doesn't really matter anymore.
What matters now (after being married) is the 'How' and 'What' you both can do to start your family and never let it end.
Aaron and I decided to tie our knot within a year of our courtship. When we sent out our invites to relatives and friends, many of them went 'So fast?' etc.. We settled for an alfresco outdoor wedding at 1-TwentySix, Playground @Big Spash (just googled that it has ceased operation) and a month after that (as planned), we were promoted to become Daddy and Mommy! I quit my job and prep myself for the Motherhood Journey. Was I nervous or worried? Not at all! Other than the very bad morning sickness that lasted almost 5 months, I was really enjoying every moment and counting down to the day of delivery. I told myself that I am already a mother and I sure can take care of my own baby, without any help - and I did it; not once but twice!
There is a Chinese sayings ‘船到桥头，自然直’ (to cross that bridge when we come to it). I am a positive person. I always believe that 'where there is a will, there is a way' and this notion has seen me thru many life's experiences; the good, the bad and the worst. The state of mind is of utmost importance in our life. It not only controls every part of our body, it actually ruled it and our future is highly dependent on it.
Most would agree with me that before and after marriage, before and after having children, things DO change; such as commitments and responsibilities. The change is often more significant in women. The promises that we have made to our husbands, that 'I will not neglect you even after our baby is born' (doesn't this ring a bell? lol) - how many of us have kept it? On behalf of Mommies, I say this to the Daddies: We are not neglecting you. We are just temporary taking away OUR time to give it to our little ones and we hope to have this understanding from you that this move is necessary and one day (very soon) the lost time will come back to you. It may sound selfish to some, but I believe that there are few out there who truly understand the need for this lost.
Having said that, I admit that ever since the birth of Alexis (my 1st girl), I have given almost all my time to my children. Some may say this is poor time-management. Some may say 'Same here!". I do not have to defend myself nor do I have to explain further. YOU don't have to either :). We all know more than anyone else, why things have change from before to now. And the point here is not to make any other person understand because the only person who matters and the only person who need to understand is OUR PARTNER.
Still remember the marriage vows that was witnessed by many? "...
to love him, comfort him,
honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in
sickness and health and forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live" ?
Commitment is a mindset . . . an attitude . . . a way of thinking that
will enable you and your spouse to navigate through the still waters and
the storms of a marriage relationship. Along the journey, during the transition periods from courting to married to becoming parents, there is bound to have arguments or even fights - these are simply parts and parcels of life and due to the differences in every individual; Man and Woman.
If you have have not read the book on
'Man are from Mars, Woman are from Venus', I strongly recommend you to grab one today! This is definitely a MUST READ for EVERY man and woman. This book has enlightened me a lot in terms of relationships and how our brains are wired differently. I came to understand that many disagreements can be agreed, many fights can be un-fought . . . if only we know why man don't listen and they accept that we don't read maps! I read the book many years back, it is amazingly interesting and a good read!
However there are still many days that I got up from the wrong side of bed and even the angels can't help me think right - I am still ME. There will be days when everything seems all so perfect and suddenly the next day, nothing seems right. What I want to say is... when 2 persons decide to come together as 1, to start a brand new life together, to create a better tomorrow... this is where Life begins and Love Never Ends.
Aaron and I have fought the worst-est fights, but at the end of every fight, it is very important we know that we fight so much because we actually love each other. Just like the fights with our parents, siblings, besties... we fight with the people we love because we usually want something, we want to be loved by them, feel supported, and we want them on our side AT ALL TIMES.
The next time you begin to feel that 'it is over', think about WHEN it Begins. Just like the love of a mother for her child . . . when love begins, it NEVER ends . . .
