In all corners of the world, most talk about the joys in having a baby, what a baby brings to the family - happiness, closeness etc...
During the 9 months of pregnancy , most mothers undergo great changes mentally & physically. Mentally - they are getting themselves ready to accept all changes that are about to surface during and after the 9 months, they make plans & decisions on either to quit their job (if they r working) or to get back to work soon after the confinement period (get their mother to help look after the child), etc. Physically - the 2/3 times expansion of their body-size, the possibility of regaining their original 'slim-&-sleek' figure...
A common phrase "Don't worry. Take things naturally as it comes. All will be fine".
Have you ever seen a Mother-to-be (MTB) in a total relaxation state? Good for you if you have - that lady must be the most fortunate mother in the world! Probably I'm not lucky enough to have met one. Most MTBs whom I've met, either they are too tensed-up, or they just can't wait to for the arrival so that they can cuddle, kiss, shower him with 100% love. They just can't stop talking about the 'little one', not for a single day, though it's my pleasure to have this joy shared with.
After the arrival of the child, family members, relatives & friends pay their visits at the hospital. Everyone crowds around the new-born, admiring yet another miracle that has surface to this complicated world. The mother & father of the child, the grandparents, are congratulated, the child receives blessings from all. Throughout the next few days (in hospital), the mother & father of the newborn felt a great sense of achievement - "This is our CREATION!" & they are full of SMILES when visitors arrives.
Next, comes the crucial part: The mother of new-born undergo a one-month 'recuperation' period known as confinement. Either her own mother, mother-in-law or a confinement lady will be employed to provide necessary help in looking after the baby & his mother.
From my point of view, the child is the happiest during this & the next few months because he gets to see his mother almost everyday, 24hrs. Isn't this what he has been waiting for, for the past 9mths? Eager to catch a glimpse of how his parents look like."Hey, little one! Your 1st wish is fulfilled!" What more can you asked ya....Ya,what more?? If your mom decides (or can afford) to take you in her own hands, at least for the next few years of your childhood life - YOU SHALL BE ONE OF THE MOST FORTUNATE ONES ; enjoy your memorable childhood...if your mom decides to get back to work (or can't afford to stay home because of realistic + unrealistic commitments & dreams), do not despair - you still have granny, grandpa OR 'Maria-Aunty'.
In this ever-changing modernisation, every one's seeking to live up to the 'higher standard of living'.
"Pardon me, you are a simple person seeking for a simple life?"
"O c'mon, let's be frank."
Don't give yourselves convenient phrases like: 'everyone gotta survive' - (Nobody's asking you to stop having dreams or fun - just do it moderately). 'We've got 1 more mouth to feed' - (No one is being forced to have a child. U choose to have the extra mouth so don't put it as though there's another burden to think of). 'The living standard & expenses are high' - (If you've planned to have a child, be prepared for sacrifices) ~ NO PAIN, NO GAIN ;)
There's really no right or wrong in the way one chooses to have their children brought up. Many are concern about future expenses like children's education, every individual family have a different list of concerns. I agree, every parent knows what is best for their children, every family faces a different issue.
If we just take a step back & try to analyse it clearer, we probably see that $ is the main concern here; in our current society. Everyone is so pre-occupied with what they want in life, what they want for their child, that MOST have overlooked: WHAT EXACTLY DOES THE CHILD WANTS / NEEDS? WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN THE DAYS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD?
It is only during this period of probably about 7 years or slightly more, that your child will have with you. After which, he/she will start having friends & soon before you realise, they are on their own. Alright, let's be fair. All of us have dreams to fulfill, who doesn't? How about giving your child a mere 3 years of your time, & in return, you leave him/her the best childhood any child would wished for.
Probably one would comment 'how can I leave a child of 3 yrs-old, with childhood memories when he/she doesn't even know what is going on?'
My reply to you: "Do you really think the child is 'empty' up there? You will be amazed at the tedious construction of his character-building & self-esteem the child is working on at this point of time (0-3 yrs). And without you, his main guidance, do you think he will give his best performance? Think again!"
Best of luck to all who is planning for a baby or already have one. May God Bless Our Precious Children!
p.s. There is no right or wrong, it also doesn't mean one is a 'bad' mummy if she isn't sacrificing. Ultimately, every one of us wants the Best for our child.
"We are a cash-rich, time-poor society. So often it is the children who lose out. I welcome Keep Time for Children because it encourages me to give my children what I believe they will treasure most as they look back on these years - my time." - Jonathan Edwards, Olympic Champion
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